


White Hot

by sammyspreadyourwings



Series: Queen Prompts [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Anger, Drabble, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hot Space Era, Idiots in Love, Infidelity, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 21:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17629652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyspreadyourwings/pseuds/sammyspreadyourwings
Summary: Hot Space was hard for everyone, but it's never been easy loving Brian May





	White Hot

**Author's Note:**

> Another Prompt fill.  
> I posted this before, but after careful consideration, I thought a series would be better for everyone so far as finding what they want to read.

Roger occasionally considers quitting Queen. Never serious and never for long, but days when the studio became rife with criticism and passive aggression, he thinks about it. It’d be easy to walk out and know what Queen lost because he knows his value, but he wonders how long it would take everyone else to realize. Then he remembers the ecstasy of playing in front of a hundred thousand people and the joys of crafting music. Ten years of jokes and family.

Today is particularly bad, he thinks. It wasn’t Freddie’s perfectionism or Deaky’s snark but Brian’s arrogance. Roger likes to think after nearly a decade and a half they’ve figured out how to balance their personal and professional lives (they’re all each other’s best friends, a full separation would never happen), but he apparently was wrong.

Brian is caught in a messy separation and Roger is four months out of Dom’s house. John and Fred are on a disco crusade and Fred alone is acting like he wants to light the candle at the second end. Their personal lives are in shambles as their career is as strong as ever. The studio that used to be the escape veers wildly between a prison and a breath of fresh air.

As Roger said, they were friends before they were professional, and they care about each other like they care about music. Wounds bleeding over isn’t an unknown occurrence. He just wants to know why when things go to shit in Brian’s life, he has to take it out on Roger.

Things were easier in the Summer of ’70.

That’s probably why Brian does take it out on Roger.

It’s almost funny how predictable this routine has become. Roger is spinning before he hears the first echo of a clog. Brian steps out of the studio, neutral but angry.

“Am I not as serious as a musician as any of you?” Roger asks.

“Your drumming is impossibly precise for a human,” Brian says sedately, “your range is incredible, and I’ve never heard a falsetto like yours.”

“Except I can’t write songs for shit.”

He tosses the words out like a weapon, at least he hopes Brian mistakes the edge for a weapon. They’re a shield. Things are so close to breaking. Brian steps forward acutely aware of the blunt edge. Roger steps back into the wall.

“You’ve written good songs.”

“I’ve hardly been met with the approval you give Fred or Deaky or what you get from them.”

Brian crowds him. Like Brian knows his tells, Roger knows Brian could never be dangerous to him no matter how large he makes himself. They stare at each other and then the anger gets tucked neatly behind walls. Long fingers tip his jaw up.

“Maybe you aren’t a lyricist, but you always give Deaky a bass line to enjoy and Freddie room to play with vocals and I get to explore my guitar, all because your drum section is nearly perfect when you hand it to us.”

Roger knows he is a damn good drummer. The band knows it too, but he has more to give. He can sing higher than Freddie (while playing an instrument) but people still ask him if he does.

Brian kisses him then. Rough and fast but passionate and loving. It’s not how he would expect Brian May the soft-hearted to kiss. It isn’t how Brian kisses. Roger remembers when it was slow and gentle when the love was blatant and not hidden.

They’re a decade and a half away from that. That early love twisted beneath heels of wives and bloodthirsty press. Slow sped to fast when there were more people asking for their attention. Rough instead of gentle because they have too many emotions to sort through and too little time to properly vent.

Roger doesn’t chase Brian when they part because they hear the studio door open.

“Oh good, you two haven’t killed each other,” John says a centimeter pass neutral, “and I’m not out ten quid for Roger being the one dead.”

“Eh, Roger could take me,” Brian says, his voice folded into annoyed.

Brian and John leave him in the hallway. Roger slides down the wall. Anger warring with hurt and compounding into more cracks on the bone. Not for the first time he wishes that he and Brian ended what they had when they were signed for the first time, to avoid the taint of adultery and lies and quick fucks in hotel rooms after they gave enough attention to a girl for her to brag she bagged a member of Queen.

They talked about it, but Brian is loyal to a fault and won’t go back on a promise. On the other hand, Roger can’t stop loving someone once he has.

Roger occasionally thinks about quitting Brian. Never serious and never for long, but days when the love becomes rife with taint and routine, he thinks about it. It’d be easy to walk out and know what Brian lost because he knows his value, but he wonders how long it would take Brian to realize. Then he remembers years of tender firsts and the absolution of being the only thing to have Brian’s attention in that exact moment. Ten years of love and family.

Today is particularly bad, he prays.

**Author's Note:**

> @Sammyspreadyourwings


End file.
